Via Politico http://www.politico.com/

Yesterday morning a colleague said that he was going to text me Monday night during the now infamous Gardasil Debate of 2011 but he wasn’t sure if I was awake and thought he might be disturbing me. Little did he know that I was already disturbed beyond belief and wide awake thinking that should one of these eight GOP contenders become President (well, all except for Jon Huntsman) then how would I and could I possibly flee the country. It becomes a very real possibility when all of the candidates did a Perry pile-on. The man who formerly proposed that his state of Texas secede from the union wants to now be President of the entire country. Oh, the irony of it all.

I watch these debates in part to learn more about the ‘enemy’ but also because I enjoy being informed even if the process is maddening. Monday’s debate – the second in four days – was infuriating but at least now I know. I tell myself that knowledge is power as I listen to Tea Party audience members whoop and holler for the death of a coma patient who doesn’t have health-insurance. It’s disturbing, at least for me, but then again as someone on Twitter so brilliantly pointed out these debates aren’t ‘for liberals’ they’re for Republicans and their grassroots activists. So I sit back and watch while my toes curl in disbelief.

Some of my favorite moments – all in jest of course because if I were to point out the severity and my genuine shock of what was said well, I’d question how Montreal would feel about having me as a citizen. And please – and I mean this genuinely – if you do agree with points that the candidates made, feel free to share and enlighten me.:

1) Michele Bachman is definitely still around. Even better she hates vaccines or is unaware of the exact purpose of vaccinations. The definition of vaccine according to Merriam-Webster: a preparation of killed microorganisms, living attenuated organisms, or living fully virulent organisms that is administered to produce or artificially increase immunity to a particular disease.

The Gardasil vaccine that she is so virulently against – and I will say that no one should be forced into inoculation but one (a parent) should also be aware of the deep consequences of not vaccinating their child. But that is also a different discussion and a bunch of moms are now giving me the evil eye. The point is that I think she is mistaken as to the purpose of a vaccine against HPV which is what Gardasil is. She ended up coming across as a woman who would totally be down with Measles, Mumps and Rubella making a comeback.

2) That fucking fence to keep the brown people (from Mexico) out came up again. Apparently this is a good idea but the best part is the entire conversation against “illegal aliens” then less then five minutes later the candidates were asked how they plan to court the Latino vote. So..wait a minute: You’re going to keep a large population of Latinos out and/or insult them horribly by referring to them as illegal aliens and then you’re going to try and get them to vote for you? Again with the irony and head scratching on my part because really? I mean REALLY? At least Rick Perry had a Texas-sized DREAM Act to fall back on and the rest piled on because why should we allow these children of immigrants to get an education? How dare they?!

3) Another word where the candidates seem to be unaware of the definition would be ‘treason’. Back to Merriam-Webster for the definition: 1: the betrayal of a trust 2 : the offense of attempting by overt acts to overthrow the government of the state to which the offender owes allegiance or to kill or personally injure the sovereign or the sovereign’s family

My memory isn’t what it used to be but I don’t remember Ben Bernanke selling nuclear secrets to North Korea regardless, all eight candidates thought that Ben Bernanke, chairman of the Federal Reserve should be tried for treason. TREASON. Like he’s Benedict Arnold or some such BS.

I’ve run out of words for that nonsense save for; don’t any of these candidates own a dictionary? Or have access to Google?

4) Rick Perry is so adorable. He thinks that he deserves accolades and credit for creating jobs in Texas and then goes on to tell his base how gosh darn awful President Obama’s stimulus programs were. According to Governor Perry the stimulus didn’t create and/or save jobs. How much trouble will I get in for referring to him as a lying liar? Ok..I’ll say that he is clearly getting information on job creation in his state from an unreliable source. Immediately after Perry’s statement on how terrible stimulus was and how he’s the Texan wonder for creating all those jobs, PoliFact showed that no, stimulus helped to save and/or create the jobs he’s now taken credit for saving. Oy.

5) Jon Huntsman who? No, really, where was Ambassador Huntsman in all of this? Poor guy has one foot in the grave when it comes to this election and it really is a shame.

I tend to be facetious in times like this because I cannot allow my brain to wrap around this amount of absurdity. Conservatives will of course say that by agreeing with any of President Obama’s policies I, too, am absurd and in need of a lobotomy. That might be true but I will and always have looked at all candidates to find out where we agree and disagree. I only wish to see more of that from the Tea Party.

Did you watch Monday night’s debate? What did you think?

Related:

The Fix: The Florida Republican Debate: What We Learned

Roland S. Martin: Best of the CNN Tea Party Debate (Video)

Rolling Stone: GOP Tea Party Debate: Highlights and Lowlights

Big Journalism: CNN Shows MSNBC How a Debate is Done